The idea of ‘self-care’ can often feel like another thing to add to an already impossible to-do list. When you see pictures of people in pristine white robes with cucumber slices on their eyes, you don’t feel relaxed; you feel stressed. Who has time for that? Between the school run, the big shop, walking the dog, and just keeping the house from falling down, finding a spare hour for a bubble bath feels like a fantasy.
But self-care isn’t about grand gestures. It’s not another chore. It’s about finding small, manageable moments in your day to reset your brain and tend to your own needs, so you don’t end up running on empty. Real self-care is about survival, not luxury. It’s the little things that stop you from feeling completely frazzled by teatime.
Self-Care You Can Squeeze into Minutes
The biggest barrier to looking after ourselves is usually time. We think we need a whole afternoon, but sometimes just five minutes can make a world of difference. The trick is to snatch these moments wherever you can find them, without adding any pressure.
The One-Minute Reset
This is for when you’re truly at your limit. Stop what you’re doing, walk to the back door or a window, and just take three deep breaths of fresh air. Don’t check your phone. Don’t think about the washing pile. Just look at the sky or the garden and breathe. It sounds ridiculously simple, but it can be enough to break a cycle of stress and help you think more clearly.
The Five-Minute Brew
We all make countless cups of tea or coffee a day, but how often do we actually drink them properly? Make your brew, and instead of taking it back to your desk or drinking it while unloading the dishwasher, sit down. Sit in a different chair to usual. Drink it while it’s hot and do nothing else. No scrolling, no telly. Just five minutes of quiet with a warm drink can feel incredibly restorative.
The Ten-Minute Escape
If you find yourself with a spare ten minutes, perhaps while waiting for a pan to boil or for the kids to get their shoes on, resist the urge to fill it with another job. Instead, stick on a couple of your favourite songs and have a little kitchen disco. Or find a good podcast or audiobook that has nothing to do with parenting or work. It’s about giving your brain a short break and transporting yourself somewhere else for a moment.
Redefining Your Everyday Tasks
Sometimes you can’t add anything new to your day. The key, then, is to change how you approach the things you already have to do. A slight shift in mindset can turn a mundane task into a moment of peace.
Your daily shower is a perfect example. It’s a few minutes where you are guaranteed to be alone. Instead of rushing through it while mentally planning the day ahead, try to focus on the moment. Use a shower gel with a scent you really love. Pay attention to the feeling of the warm water. It’s not a spa day, but it’s a small, sensory act of kindness to yourself.
The same goes for the commute or the school run. If you’re in the car, turn off the blaring radio news and listen to that podcast you downloaded, or even just enjoy the silence. If you walk, try to notice things you haven’t seen before, like the flowers in someone’s garden or the way the seasons are changing. It’s about being present in the moment, rather than letting your mind race ahead to the next task.
Planning for a Bit More Breathing Room
While small moments are vital, it’s also important to try and carve out slightly bigger chunks of time for yourself, even if it’s just once a week. This requires a bit of planning and, crucially, not feeling guilty about it.
Schedule a walk like you’d schedule a doctor’s appointment. It doesn’t have to be a three-hour hike in the Dales. A half-hour loop around your local park is perfect. We’re lucky in Yorkshire to have so many green spaces on our doorstep. A walk around a park can blow the cobwebs away and completely change your mood.
Protect that time. Let your family know that for 30 minutes on Sunday morning, you are going for a walk by yourself. Put it in the calendar. The world will not end, the washing can wait, and you will come back feeling more patient and capable.
Things to Let Go Of: The Ultimate Self-Care
Perhaps the most powerful form of self-care is not about adding things in, but taking them away. It’s about subtraction. The biggest thing to subtract is guilt.
Let go of the need for everything to be perfect. A “good enough” dinner is absolutely fine. The house doesn’t need to be spotless. You are allowed to say no to things. No to baking for the bake sale if you don’t have time. No to that extra commitment at work. No to social plans when all you want to do is sit on the sofa in your pyjamas.
Learning to say no without a long, apologetic explanation is a skill, but it’s one that gives you back your most precious resource: your time and energy. Looking after yourself means protecting yourself from burnout, and that often means doing less, not more.
Frequently Asked Questions
- How do I stop feeling guilty about taking time for myself?
- Think of it like the oxygen mask analogy on an aeroplane. You have to put your own on first before you can help anyone else. Taking 10 minutes to reset isn’t selfish; it makes you a better, more patient parent, partner, and person. You are modelling good behaviour for your children by showing them that everyone’s needs, including yours, are important.
- What if I literally have zero free minutes in my day?
- If your day is truly back-to-back, focus on the “redefining tasks” idea. Your self-care might be listening to a song while you chop vegetables for tea or taking five deep breaths before you get out of the car at the supermarket. It’s about finding tiny pockets of mindfulness, not booking a spa weekend.
- Does tidying up or getting a job done count as self-care?
- This is a tricky one. If having a clean kitchen genuinely makes you feel calm and happy, then yes, it can be. But if it just feels like another job you have to do, then no. The key question to ask is: “Am I doing this for my own wellbeing, or because I feel like I *should*?” True self-care should restore your energy, not drain it.
